My first reaction was sadness, I felt pity for myself and I became angry, I was angry that someone had taken the time to say something so hurtful and went out of their way to do it. After time passed, I let go of the anger and was able to focus on the person I had effected in such a way, I began to feel sorry for that person.
High School is rough, I can speak for most when I say that there are many things we wish we had done differently. I wanted to let this person know how sorry I am for the hurt that I have caused them to keep them upset this many years later. I want them to know their voice has been heard, and thank you for the reminder that the things you say affect all those around you. Even if you think no one is listening, someone alway is. Words can be your best weapon when fighting a battle, chose them wisely. My husband sat with me as I became upset over the comment but he reminded me that their words we only a judgment of one person who may have encountered something with me years ago, not someone who has seen me grow into the beautiful woman I have grown to be.
I want to let you know that the things I post on this blog are about my recovery, if you truly know me and who I am/was you would know that I was heavier and over weight. The pictures I have posted are about my success, the things I have accomplished because of the eating disorder. My story is not only about what its like to have these challenges but what you can become because of them. I choose to be fit and healthy because of the challenges I face. I write this blog to help others see what they can become and how possible it is to love yourself. I may look different on the outside being thinner and more fit but if you know anything about having an addiction you will know those demons don't fade away. I do wish to be role model to people who suffer from the things that I have/had and will most likely continue to have for the rest of my life. As for Karma I completely agree that what goes around comes around, but I can honestly say my life is FANTASTIC and I feel completely confident in my happiness and the person I have worked to become. I may have hurt people in my life and I take full responsibility for that, but if karma is what you believe you must believe I have done something good because of all the good that has been brought to me.
whom ever you are that wrote the message, I hope one day you can forgive me for the hurt I caused, I promise you that your voice has been heard.
Wow
ReplyDeleteYou are a beautiful woman Maddison!
ReplyDeleteWow, what a great post. You are so strong, and knowing you in Jr. High and of High School I never thought you were a bitch. I can't believe someone would honestly think that about you. In fact I never thought you were anything but a girl that was trying to figure out how to do things just like the rest of us. It's pretty apparent looking in hindsight that we were all pressured by peer pressure and what we thought we were all supposed to be doing. I just have good memories of us at your house sledding down hills and riding on 4 wheelers and playing with your dog and being funny. All the time. I was just talking with my husband about how silly it is that people take high school years so seriously because it's really just 4 yeras of our lives and it in no way is a complete picture of who we are. Your response is so mature and I think a testament to how much love and peace you have in your life.
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